Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
