Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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