then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
