It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
