Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
