the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
dude. I can hear the air.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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