Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
