He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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