I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
