Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
