I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
