you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
