Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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