You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
