she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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