I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
