Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
