i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
