is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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