Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
