I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
