I think I just saw someone hide a body.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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