I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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