if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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