she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
