im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
