I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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