so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
