i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
