You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
