ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
