I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
