Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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