you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
