Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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