I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
