I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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