You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
