I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Still dying that you shit outside
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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