Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
