She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
