I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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