Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
