guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
