It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
