S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
