dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
