I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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