So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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