My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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