Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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