it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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