Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
