My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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