All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
