nut hugger
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
