if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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