hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize