apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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