Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
