You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
