State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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