So gin and wine won't be happening again
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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