I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
