I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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