Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
