I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
