Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
