I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
