Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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