awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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