he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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