He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
