I've blown a few things in my day
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize