OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
