Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
